Life really sucks when you get really disappointed with yourself.I'm so affected by how my fingers danced in that little, square-ish room because I knew I wasn't giving my all. Why did I let myself get distracted?
Freaking hell.You wouldn't understand it unless you have experienced it. At that very moment, I felt so drained of all my confidence(not like I had a great deal of that in the first place) because I failed myself.
The worst of all the bad things is that I wasn't nervous, BUT,
I allowed my stupid mind to space out.
The examiner was obviously trying to help me out. To ease my pain.
He tested me on the simpler scales.
My first scale was a D major and my fingers actually slipped.]
That's as well as spelling your name wrongly.
Arpeggios. A flat major, and I ended on an A. Somehow.
B flat minor arpeggio. I played only 2 octaves and I dont know why.
That's not all.
It's not that I am too hard on myself. It's just that the things that should not go wrong, went wrong. And it doesn't help much either, when all your effort goes down the drain in just 10 minutes.
And the fact that I didn't give my 100% when I was playing my pieces doesn't help either.
I know I wont fail, but I've deeply disappointed myself and my teacher.
And my damn piano is mocking at me from behind.
It's Grade 8 next year.
Prelim 1 is starting tmr?
Oh, I almost forgot.
